Thursday, February 7, 2013

My Unchecked To Do List

Nothing about this year has gone according to plan. At the beginning of January, I spent several hours updating my home manager, restructuring my monthly/weekly/daily schedule to allow for some goals I want to accomplish this year and also to help me be more productive; you know, like daily blog posting. You realize this is February 7 and this is first post of the year, right?! And nothing, I mean not one single thing, has gone according to plan. With a sigh of relief, I can say than it’s not entirely due to me (already) slacking, but due more to unexpected things that have come up. Of course, this recovering perfectionist allowed myself to get to an utter, epic failure frame of mind. My sweet Savior has begun to speak gently, quietly to my heart over the past few days, reminding me that, “Many are a man’s plans, but it is the Lord who directs his steps.” I may not be getting one single thing accomplished that I had hoped, but the interruptions and changes have not been annoying irritations to my plans but rather His plans. I am in no way attempting to justify my lack of productivity. I simply needed a refocus. My youth minister in high school taught us on a mission trip to “Be Flexible. Be Yielded.” That phrase has been invading my mind during the past week of this epic failure pity party I’ve been throwing. I do not believe God is giving me a free pass to be lazy or unproductive. That would contradict His word. What He is trying to teach me (I think-I'm a slow learner) is that I need to be flexible in my plans and yielded to Him. I’ve had it backwards. I’ve been yielded to my plans. Do you know how good it feels to cross every single item off a To Do List?! Yes, today I have a list of things that I need to get done, however my “plan” for what I should accomplish, according to my Home Manager, on this Thursday of the first week of the month is not going to happen. An important truth of delighting in everyday life is allowing God to guide my day. Of course we must get up and go to work, if we work and get laundry done and meals prepared for our family. God isn’t going to lead us to neglect our responsibilities. What I mean, especially for us over-achievers, is that in our attempt to be organized, planned, productive, we leave God out. Then when He meets us in our day, wanting to accomplish something in us or through us, we feel as though our space has been invaded. Oh yes, I know all about the psychology of human nature and that we will never achieve our goals if we do not take steps to work towards them, but today is all I have to honor God and walk in step with Him. Perhaps that is just it; our goals are self-centered rather than God-centered. Maybe my goals are really vain attempts to feel a sense of worth and control. Just maybe all the things I want to get done, those adorably cute ,Pinterest projects and perfectly organized home, look nothing like what He wants to get done through me today. Delighting in my everyday life is not about having my life perfectly together, but rather allowing Him to accomplish His perfect plan. The unexpected phone calls, the sick child, the sudden burden to pray; having my eyes open to how He is wanting to work through me and my heart receptive to how He is wanting to work in me should be my goal for this day. As I move through my to do list of responsibilities, He must become my frame of mind. It is possible that a half marked To-Do list is delightful after all?

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